Need to be Me

Need to be me

By Sandi Ackerman



When I started the writer's group, I wanted to write like C. S. Lewis or Tozer. They have a way of connecting words together that express something very deep. I like that. It moves me. It reaches inside of me. It draws me closer to God.
  I am presently reading two very different authors who are writing about their intimate relationship with God. Their names are Ann Voskamp and Donald Miller. They are similar to Lewis and Tozer in the fact that what they write reaches inside me. Their writings draw me closer to God.  It challenges me. The similarity stops there.
    Ann's writing is closer to the style of what I want to develop. Since it is ok to have a mentor, I will pick her for the time being. She combines photography and writing to express everyday life in the reality of the walk with Jesus. I mean EVERYDAY LIFE. This woman has six kids and lives on a farm. (I only have two kids and live in a city but you get the idea).
     Jesus is here everyday, all the time. Even when one of  her children slaps his sibling in the face with a piece of toast. (this is taken from Ann's book ONE THOUSAND GIFTS, FINDING JOY IN WHAT REALLY MATTERS).  Joy is in all things. Jesus is in all things. It is taking the time and deciding to choose to find the Joy that is hard. Do I even ask for Jesus to come?
   Ann is honest. She is not perfect. She is willing to express her frailties. I would like to write with that same honesty.
   I do not want to be another Ann Voskamp because then I will miss out on how I need to be me, on how God wants me to create. In the Reality, Intimacy, Power, and Joy that God gives to me. That is how I want to share.
 What about Donald Miller? Jesus is in his life as well. His experiences are very different than mine. He writes how Jesus is real in everyday life though. To me that is what matters because Jesus was in everyday life. Jesus is in everyday life.

     

So on a day like this, I want to take my laptop or journal and coffee. I want to enjoy the gifts that I have been given. I want to take life that God has given me. Real Life. What is God teaching me ? How does the True Kingdom of God walk in the heart of a woman living in Duluth, MN?  Those nuggets go around in me.  Hopefully something real will come out on the paper or this screen. Not exactly like Voskamp or Miller. Not like Lewis or Tozer either. Rather to express, to challenge, to draw the reader closer in the style God gave me.   I need to be me.